Cross my Heart (Iris Boys Book 4) Read online

  Synopsis

  What kind of person falls into a relationship with several men? Now I know the answer. Me.

  I’ve finally realized that and I’ve come to terms with it. But it seems that fate has one last challenge for us to overcome. Theodora “Teddi” Vandersen, otherwise known as Grayson’s mother, has apparently been following me for weeks now. She thinks it’s my fault that Grayson’s done with her.

  Whether it is or not, all I know is that the wealthy socialite will stop at nothing to tear Grayson away from me and the guys. He just found his home with us. I’m not going to let her destroy that. If it means I have to go against her, myself, and risk everything, then…

  So be it.

  Cross my heart

  Lucy Smoke

  Copyright © 2019 by Lucy Smoke LLC

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Editing by Your Editing Lounge

  Cover Design by Les Solet

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you to everyone who read Now or Never, the first step on Harlow’s journey. This series has been a pleasure to write. Thank you to my friend, Caitlyn Kale, for whom which this series would not exist.

  A major thank you to my special team of support. To my personal cheerleaders, Jen Borne, Ken Carpenter, Graceley and Dee. To new friends Tania and Sam. To everyone else that has been here for me and weathered my storms alongside me. I am truly grateful for your words of kindness and wisdom, and for the countless hours of sprinting, laughing, sarcastic remarks, and friendship.

  I would like to recognize my amazing editor for her love and straight talk. Thank you for breaking me down and making me a better writer. Thank you as well to my beta readers, Anna, Kelly, Melanie, Kate and Eveis, and my proofreader, Ellen. And a thank you to my friends and family without which I would not be here today, doing what I love.

  I would not be able to do what I do without your care.

  For Papaw, I love you.

  Table of Contents

  Synopsis

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Epilogue

  Iris Boys Continued…

  Want More Lucy?

  Excerpt from Heart of Tartarus

  Also by Lucy Smoke

  About the Author

  Prologue

  Marv

  I stared at Grayson in shock. A quick glance around the room confirmed that I was not alone. Knix was the first to recover—of course, he would be. “What exactly was her threat?” he demanded. Already, I could see his mind scouring through thoughts and would-be possibilities. Always thinking of the next step—what to do.

  A threat hung over us, a goddamn knife clinging to the slenderest of strings, waiting to drop. Harlow was being threatened, and none of us would stand for that, especially not me. Not now. Not ever.

  “She didn’t exactly say she’d do anything to her.” Grayson’s face was ashen as he stood before us. His eyes didn’t bounce around the room like someone who was nervous. No. Instead, they stared right through us, seeing something that was obviously not there as he answered Knix’s question. “But she did imply that unless I bent to her will, Harlow wouldn’t exactly be safe.”

  “Safe?” Bellamy echoed, glancing around. “She’s not exactly safe now. I mean, think about all those fucking accidents that have been happening. The car that nearly ran her over. The bike accident—she ended up in the hospital!” Bellamy’s gaze widened and he turned, sharpening his look on Grayson. “It was her, wasn’t it? Your mother was the one who made all those accidents happen!”

  I had only heard that depth of absolute fury in his voice a few times in the few years that I had known him. Because of it, and the fucked up situation, I found myself doing something I never would have predicted. I stepped between Grayson and Bellamy and faced my friend down, effectively stopping Bellamy’s forward momentum when he started towards Grayson, probably with every intention of pounding him to a bloody damn pulp.

  “This isn’t the place to do this,” I said sharply, glancing to Knix for backup.

  Knix met my gaze and nodded. “He’s right, Bell.” Knix moved towards Bellamy and put what I was sure was supposed to be a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

  Bell shrugged it off and kept his gaze focused on me. “You’re protecting him now?” he demanded. “Of all people, I didn’t think you—”

  “Things have changed,” I interrupted. “We don’t have room for enemies between us anymore.” I glanced behind me and was thankful that Grayson seemed to have come back to himself. His eyes were more aware, though a bit clouded. With what, I didn’t know. “Besides,” I turned back to Bell, Knix, and Texas—the former who had yet to say anything, “Harlow has made it clear that she prefers him around.”

  “She didn’t know what she wanted. She was drugged and had been through an ordeal,” Bell argued.

  “Do you want to go ask her then?” I asked harshly, irritated. Shoving a hand through my hair, I grabbed a chunk and tugged. A deep, dull throbbing started at the back of my skull. Even my damn bones felt tired and achy.

  “Then Grayson’s gonna go back and talk to her,” Bellamy said, crossing his arms over his chest. “We’ll go and we’ll make sure this bitch doesn’t think that she can just—”

  “Whoa, hold on there, Bell.” Knix’s gaze darkened and he pinched the bridge of his nose, his frustration clear. “It’s not that easy. We can’t just go to the home of Teddi Vandersen-Caruso and demand that she back off Harlow. That’s not how the socialite world works. She wouldn’t even acknowledge that she’s done anything.” Knix sighed, obviously disturbed by this whole conversation. “There’s no proof, either, that she’s been the one behind the accidents or attacks or whatever is going on with Harlow,” he continued. “All we have is Grayson’s account of a threat that was really too vague to be a real threat and photographs. She could just say that she was making sure her son wasn’t dating a gold-digger.”

  Knix’s eyes cut away, looking somewhere that seemed to be off in the great distance. I knew he was just thinking, analyzing, examining the possibilities of this new information. It was what made him such a good leader. He wasn’t a hothead like Bellamy...or me, if I was being perfectly honest. He was a thinker.

  “Her side of the story will hold up,” Knix said with finality, turning back to us. “She’s a paragon in her community—donates to charity, has loads of money, lives in a nice place, is seen practically everywhere. She’s a part of the Charleston Country Club.” The longer Knix spoke, the harder he pinched the bridge of his nose. When he stopped, he dropped his hand away, but there was still a slight red mark where his fingers had bore down.

  “If she’s implying that Harlow is—” Bell’s face flushed red with outrage and pure fury bubbling up.

  Finally, Texas stepped forward and put a hand o
n Bellamy’s arm. Though he wasn’t much shorter than the rest of us, he definitely looked small next to Bellamy as Bell huffed and puffed and swelled with anger. Texas leaned up and whispered something too low for me to hear. Even if I had a chance to lean forward and try to listen, I wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t invade their semi-privacy. Those two had a relationship that was a bit more complex. They were like brothers. Out of my peripheral vision, I noticed that Grayson was no longer stationed behind me. Instead, he had moved to my side, facing the others as well.

  Bell turned a frustrated look on Texas who stood quietly and waited—for his reaction or his reply? Maybe both, I decided.

  “Fine,” Bell finally said, “but if she comes close to Harlow, all bets are off.” Before he stalked away, Bell turned back to the rest of us, his eyes landing on Grayson again. “Make sure you get fucking proof next time,” he snapped before stomping away.

  I couldn’t blame him. It almost seemed that he had taken all my anger and frustration and left me sounding like the sensible one for a change. I wasn’t sure if I liked the new dynamic, but I didn’t fault him for being protective. If I hadn’t been so tired, I likely would have reacted the same way.

  Texas looked after Bellamy and sighed before turning to the rest of us. “What now?” he asked.

  “Good fucking question,” I said.

  “Are you going back?” Knix directed his question to Grayson. Texas and I turned our gazes to the man who had dropped the bomb on all of us.

  “I can’t,” he said. Unlike how he usually was, Grayson was sedate, perhaps just as tired as the rest of us. But there was also anger in the tension of his shoulders and…was that guilt in his eyes?

  “Where will you go then?” Texas asked, still quiet, still unreadable.

  What had he said to Bell? I wondered.

  Grayson shook his head, looking much older than his nineteen years. “She’s wrapped up all my funds. My trust won’t kick in until I turn twenty-one,” he admitted. “I’ve got some of my own savings. I’m not an idiot. I have some assets—stocks, bonds, those kinds of things.”

  I wasn’t surprised. In our lifestyle, you either made money or you blew it—while his brother obviously blew it, Grayson was a make money kind of guy. Not unlike myself. I cursed myself for being so thick headed. What he had told me all those years ago, I knew something had seemed off. I had let my anger and frustration cloud my judgment for too long.

  Knix nodded in response. “You’re welcome to stay here for the time being.”

  I shook my head and glanced sharply at my leader. “Um, I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I said. “Unless you’ve forgotten. When you designed the house—”

  “I had my construction guys come out and start on the pool house while we were gone,” Knix interrupted with an exhausted exhale. “I had intended to offer it to Harlow’s mother if she wanted to leave the center, but…I suppose it’ll be fine if we let Grayson use it for now. Besides,” Knix turned a weary smile on Grayson, “all the better to keep an eye on you, right?” He tried for joking, but it fell flat and he grimaced almost immediately after the last word left his mouth.

  “You don’t have to—” Grayson started.

  I clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. If Knix says it’s good, then it’s good.”

  “It’s not quite finished, though,” Knix warned. “The bedroom is done, but the kitchen in it still needs some work and the walls need painting.”

  “I don’t really care,” Grayson admitted. “Right now, I just want a bed to crawl into and forget about this day for a good eight hours.”

  Texas and Knix both nodded in agreement. “Sounds like a plan to me,” Texas said.

  “Come on,” Knix moved to the back doors, heading to wherever I supposed he had started constructing the pool house, “I’ll take you.”

  Texas and I remained behind, watching them go. My gaze moved to the hallway that led to Harlow’s room. Exhausted and perhaps a little heartbroken, she had gone to bed hours ago. There was no doubt in my mind that her relationship with Erika was most certainly over. Erika was too traumatized by her experience to stay behind. She’d probably always relate what happened to her with Harlow now. Not that it was any of Harlow’s fault, but my girl was like that—she’d let her ex-friend blame her if it made her feel better. She’d also blame herself for not being able to stop it. I both loved and hated that about her.

  “You going to her?” Texas’ voice drew me out of my thoughts.

  I turned away from the hallway. “What?”

  “I asked if you were going to her,” he repeated, eyeing me. I knew he meant Harlow. It hadn’t escaped anyone’s notice how often I slept in her bed. I just liked to keep her close. I liked the feel of her hair against my skin. The smell of her on me when I woke up.

  “Maybe,” I admitted uncomfortably. “We talked about this.”

  He nodded, and to his credit, he looked neither jealous nor angry, just contemplative. “You’ll have to give us all a chance,” he reminded me. “That’s what we agreed on. You got your time with her. Remember, if this is gonna work, we all need time with her.”

  As much as I didn’t want to agree with him right now, I knew he was right. “If you want to go, then you can,” I said.

  Texas nodded. “I know I can,” he replied, “but my point is that you’ve had her first, now. It’s going to be up to you to remind some of them that they can have her as well—as long as she’s good with it.”

  “You mean Bell and Knix, don’t you?”

  Texas' gaze moved past me to the back doors. “And Grayson.”

  I sucked in a breath. “Right,” I said stonily, “and Grayson.” Texas met my eyes once more and we stood like that for an unknown amount of time before I couldn’t take it anymore. I broke his gaze and moved towards the stairs. “I’m going to bed,” I called over my shoulder. “Goodnight.”

  As I reached the top of the stairs, I heard Texas’ footsteps echo down Harlow’s hallway. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I knew he was right. My parents had taught me to share well, but I had never even thought about sharing my girlfriend. The one thing that made it all easier, however, was the fact that I knew she meant as much to them as she meant to me. Even Grayson.

  Chapter 1

  2 weeks later...

  Harlow

  Are we supposed to be doing this?” I asked quietly as Texas grasped my hand in his and tugged it, leading me out of the house. Semi-cool air assaulted my face as we moved across the patio. I looked up as dark clouds rolled overhead.

  “You’re worried about him,” Texas said sharply as we headed towards the pool house that Knix had started constructing while we were away at Lander University.

  “He doesn’t want to see me,” I replied quietly, trying to keep the hurt out of my tone. Not that it did much good, I realized when Texas glanced over his shoulder at me, his gaze softening as he rubbed a thumb over my knuckles.

  Almost as soon as we had returned from Lander, Grayson had mysteriously moved into the pool house. At first, I wanted to ask why—it just seemed so sudden—but after the guys explained a little bit about his mother, I didn’t want to press him for too many details.

  “He just feels a little guilty,” Texas started.

  “For what?” I interrupted. “His mother? She’s crazy. That’s not his fault. No one blames me for my mom’s cancer. How can he think that I blame him for his mother’s stalker tendencies?”

  “I agree,” Texas said as we stopped right outside the double-paned glass doors at the side of the pool house. “But he doesn’t understand that. Just talk to him.” Texas released my hand and reached to unlock the doors. He slid one side open—the door making hardly any noise as he moved it with expert stealth—and pushed me through.

  “Is Marv okay with this?” I hissed in a whisper, trying not to be heard. Grayson was most definitely home, and I didn’t want to upset anyone—or be turned away yet again. I glanced over my shoulder, but the unpa
inted living room was dark. He must have been in the bedroom, I decided.

  “Marv suggested it,” Texas assured me, closing the door in my face and waving before turning away. Asshole. But he was right. I did need to talk to Grayson. He had been avoiding me for the last few weeks. He hadn’t gone out unless it was to go somewhere with one of the guys—usually Knix or Texas. Sometimes, he came home smelling like grease and sugar. I had the sneaking suspicion that he’d been working at Alex’s. I knew his mother couldn’t touch his trust fund and neither could he until he was twenty-one, so, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was working. A part of me, on a deeper level, wondered if it was so he could feel useful...or so he could work himself into exhaustion.

  I tiptoed further into the small house. It was only half finished, the outside done to perfection, but despite the uncompleted mini-kitchen and unpainted walls—Grayson had moved in and let the rest sit as it was, half-unfinished. A part of me wondered if Knix had anticipated this or if this pool house had been for a different reason. I had no proof to back up the idea that Knix had known about Grayson—he had been just as skeptical of him a few weeks ago as everyone else.

  “Grayson?” I called out into the pool house, uncertain. The closer I got to the lone bedroom at the back of the living room and small hallway that held an unfinished laundry room and mudroom, the more I could make out the distinct grunts coming from there. They sounded particularly painful, which made me speed up. I stepped into the doorway. “Are you—” I cut myself off when I realized what he was doing.