Cross my Heart (Iris Boys Book 4) Read online

  This felt too good to stop now. I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want Grayson to think either. After the heaviness of talking about our families, this was exactly what we needed. I kissed him harder, pulling him back to me when he would have moved away. I let my tongue tease against his lips, slipping through into his mouth. My eyes remained closed as I felt with my body—felt his chest rise and fall as he panted, felt the tightness of his muscles as he held me. I pulled back with a gasp—needing air—but it wasn’t enough.

  “More,” I hissed, slamming my mouth against his. I didn’t care if I sounded needy. I didn’t care if I was being unnaturally aggressive. Maybe that’s what I needed to be with Grayson to get what I wanted.

  My seatbelt was off before I knew it and I found myself on Grayson’s lap. The position was all too familiar, reminding me of my first kiss with Bellamy. This time, though, I couldn’t tell who was doing the pushing. Grayson’s hands gripped my hips as I straddled him, my hands on the back of his neck, holding him to me, unwilling to let go. Something pressed up between my legs, hot and hard. I blinked as I pulled away from the kiss in surprise and looked down.

  Grayson shifted uncomfortably. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “We should get going.”

  I stopped him with a hand on his face. “I’m not,” I said, feeling that electricity still racing through my system. “I’m not sorry at all.” I kissed him again, letting that heat consume us once more. “And you shouldn’t be either.”

  I think I may have tested Grayson’s patience too much, though, because after several minutes of making out, he groaned low in his throat and pulled away to pop the driver’s door open. When he got out of the car, I reached for him and clung to him like a vine. I didn’t care if he wanted to go in or not, I didn’t want to stop kissing him. With a bemused chuckle, he hefted me out of the car along with him.

  I found myself giggling as Grayson carried me around the side of the house. I lowered my head to his neck and licked the salt from his skin, muffling my light-hearted laughter. He shuddered and one thick hand slapped out, hitting the building before he grunted and lifted me up higher in his arms and regained his balance. I felt so safe in his arms, so protected.

  We made it to the pool house and as soon as the door closed behind us, he dropped me to my feet and pushed me up against the wall. “You test my patience,” he growled into my throat as he bit down on the column of my neck. My legs went weak and my vision hazed over. “You know that, don’t you?”

  With my eyes closed and one hand on the back of his head, I relished in the ministrations of his tongue. “I know,” I whispered with a small smile. “But you like it.”

  Grayson chuckled, a sound that made the place between my legs tighten and tingle. After a moment at my throat, Grayson pulled away. Despite my grumbling protests and obvious hints that I wanted more kissing, he slid to his knees in front of me.

  I blinked down at him as Grayson looked up my body with a wickedly boyish grin—the kind I hadn’t seen from him in a long time. It was also the kind of Grayson grin that warned me to be wary.

  “W-what are you doing?” I asked as his hands slid up my bare calves.

  “Who, me?” he replied, that damn grin still in place.

  “Well, you’re the only other person here,” I pointed out with a raised brow even as my knees shook.

  “So I am.” His hands slid higher until they were under the fabric of my dress. On my thighs. The edges of his fingers touched my underwear.

  “Wait,” I said sharply, panic in my tone. Despite the obvious hunger in his eyes, Grayson’s hands froze and didn’t move another millimeter. I swallowed around a dry throat. “Is this...is this okay?” I asked. I had no clue what I was doing. This was a multi-person relationship. We had established that. We had also established my desire to include Grayson. Texas had pushed me towards him and the guys had come to some sort of agreement between the five of them about me, but I just wanted to make sure. I didn’t want to commit to doing anything and then piss off the others. I needed this to be okay. As my stomach tightened and the feel of Grayson against me invaded my mind, I really really needed this to be okay.

  All while watching the turmoil and indecision on my face, Grayson reached into his pants' pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed a number and put the phone up to his ear. To make sure it was ringing, I assumed, since a moment later he put it down on the floor and pressed speaker.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?” My eyes widened at the sound of Marv’s voice.

  “I am,” Grayson replied shortly.

  “Then what the hell are you doing calling me?” Marv demanded.

  Grayson’s free hand returned to my legs, causing me to gasp. “Date’s going really well, actually, but I just wanted to double check something,” he said casually as his fingers inched higher. I squirmed. “The others with you?”

  “Yeah. We figured you and Harlow wanted some alone time. We’re—”

  “Don’t need to know where you are. Just clarifying that they’re there,” Grayson interrupted.

  “Right here,” Marv confirmed. “Why?”

  “Put me on speakerphone,” Grayson commanded.

  “Sure, one moment.” Grayson brushed a kiss above my knee while we waited the few precious seconds it took for Marv to put his cell on speaker and I let out a squeak, my face going hot. I looked up to the ceiling, feeling butterflies racing through my stomach, through my limbs. “You’re on,” Marv finished.

  “What’s up?” I heard Texas call in the background.

  “Everything okay?” Knix asked.

  Bellamy didn’t respond, but he was a man of few words and I knew he’d say something if it needed to be said.

  “Are you guys okay if I give our girl a nice night?” Grayson asked as he nuzzled me right between my legs, on the outside of my clothes. I gasped again, my hands going to his head, both making me want to hold him there and to pull him away so I could pull up my dress. But even I was not that brave. “She’s feeling a little worried about everyone’s feelings.”

  “Can she hear us?” Knix sounded closer to the phone. Grayson looked up at me, expectantly.

  “I-I can hear you,” I stuttered.

  “Little Bit,” Knix’s voice was smooth, understanding. “We’ve all committed to this relationship, we’re not going to get hurt if you…um...want to spend the night in the pool house.”

  “Oh, she’ll be doing more than spending the night,” Grayson said with a smirk.

  “Yeah, we figured that, asshole,” Marv commented. “But Knix is right, Sunshine. Don’t worry about us.”

  “Unless you want some help,” Texas piped up. “I can be there in a hot minute. In fact, why don’t I—”

  There was a large smacking sound as Grayson chuckled against me. I faded in and out as the feeling of his rough thumbs sliding against the soft skin of my thighs drove me out of my mind with want and desire. “Leave it alone,” Bellamy said, presumably talking to Texas.

  “I was just—”

  “You were not just,” Bellamy interrupted. He didn’t say anything more—neither negatively nor positively. From someone else, I might have been worried, but Bellamy wasn’t the type to hide his feelings. If he wasn’t okay, I knew he would have said something or already been out here by now since it was fairly obvious they were in the house and they knew we were here.

  Marv came back on the line. “We’re good,” he said. “Don’t worry about us. Just...Harlow, Sunshine, you know we’ll all want a piece of you when you come back in tomorrow morning.”

  “Duly noted,” Grayson said sharply. “Thanks.” With that, he took one hand away, ended the call, and tossed the phone somewhere else in the room.

  “I can’t believe you did that,” I said, sagging against the wall.

  I gasped as his fingers slid back up my thighs, pushing my dress higher and higher. This time, when his hand touched my underwear, I didn’t stop him from hooking his fingers into the elastic band. Not e
ven when he looked up at me, patiently asking silent permission. I just nodded and he stripped them away, his head disappearing under my clothes as his lips met the space where my leg joined my hip. He pressed a quick kiss to my skin there and then licked a path down—lower and lower until he hovered over where I most needed him.

  My legs twisted restlessly. When he blew across my needy flesh, causing my breath to catch in my chest as I shuddered, I watched as his own back trembled with barely restrained need.

  “Grayson!” I snapped, unable to wait any longer.

  His mouth descended, and I cried out as my mind flew into a million different directions. His lips. His tongue. His breath. All of it against me was a weapon of mass destruction. It was hot—more than hot, it was explosive. He was the fuel to light my fire as he burned through me. I gasped and panted and moaned as my senses dulled, but my pleasure skyrocketed.

  Grayson wreaked havoc on my senses, turning my legs to jelly and finally, I crested the edge. He shoved me up and over that cliff and then I was free falling, letting the sensations wash over me not even concerned about where I would land or even if I ever would. When I finally floated down from the mountain of bliss he had sent me hurtling over, Grayson got to his feet quickly lifting me up into his arms. My legs twined around his hips, and he carried me across the unfinished living room area of the pool house, down the hallway and to his bedroom.

  I trembled in his arms as he slowly lowered me to his bed and then reached up to help me remove my dress completely. He let the fabric drop to the side as my hands attacked his shirt. I wanted to feel him over me, in me. I closed my eyes, just imagining how beautiful it would be. When I reopened them, I attacked Grayson’s clothes with more fervor. Divesting him of his shirt and pants and tossing them to places unknown, I reached behind myself and unclasped my bra. I held the cups to my chest as the strands on either of my arms slowly slid down.

  Grayson’s eyes widened and fixated on them as he reached forward. His fingers gently found them and drew them down and away as he finally got me completely naked. Uncomfortable, but not willing to stop at this point, I crossed my arms across my breasts. But Grayson was having none of it. His fingers clasped around one wrist, pulling my arm away as he gazed down at me.

  “You’re fucking gorgeous, Harlow,” he whispered, his voice hoarse as he came down over me, moving up the bed. "Don't cover yourself."

  My eyes clashed with his as his head dipped and he captured my lips once more. Fire raced through my body and I rose up to meet him. Grayson's mouth devoured mine as his hands skimmed down my sides. He lifted me so that my breasts brushed against his chest, eliciting a moan from my throat.

  I gasped, my head jerking back as his lips descended on my neck once more. Masculine fingers moved over the skin of my stomach, down further until I blinked against the sharp rise of need. Want. Desire. It consumed me, took me over until I was nothing without it.

  I whispered his name into the darkened room and Grayson responded by spreading my legs and settling between them. My back arched even as he leaned over me to the nightstand, ruffling around in the top drawer. He didn't even bother to shut it when he came back, holding a condom in his hand. I stared at it, my heartbeat slowing to realize what we were doing.

  Panting, flushed, I watched as Grayson slowly moved back and tore open the package with his teeth, sliding it down and then pushing me back against the bed. "Are you okay with this?" he asked, his whole body tense. He held himself above me, waiting for my response. I knew if I decided against this, he would respect my wishes. He'd move back and give me space. He might not like doing it, but Grayson had changed since I first met him. He was no longer the overconfident cocky asshole. Though he still could be an asshole on occasion, he had opened himself up to not only me but to the guys as well. He was more vulnerable than he had once been.

  I nodded, answering his question and he released a breath of relief before pushing forward. I shifted my hips and gasped when he slid all the way to the hilt without much resistance. Grayson's head dropped against my chest and he turned his face, nuzzling against my flesh until his mouth closed over the tip of my breast. My arms wrapped around his head as I held him close. His hips pulled back and pushed in again, making my whole body jerk. Goosebumps rose along the skin of my arm as pleasure arched inside my chest. I gasped and panted as Grayson moved up, releasing my breast. His dark gaze met mine and held as he thrust into me. My eyes slid closed as I sank under the weight of so much pleasure dancing across my skin, under it, digging deep—further—until it made its way to my heart.

  "No." Grayson's fingers brushed across my jaw, startling me. My eyes shot open. He stared down at me. "Don't close your eyes."

  I didn't know why he wanted me to keep my eyes open, but I nodded my assent, letting him fill me as much as he wanted, clutching onto him when it became too much. My nails sank into him, but he held my gaze the entire time. I shuddered and gasped underneath him, twisting and turning as the pressure inside me crested. I struggled to keep my eyes open because he’d asked. I looked up at him, meeting his gaze and letting him see me, fill me, love me.

  "Harlow," Grayson said my name just before he dove down and attacked my mouth. I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. My nails sank into his shoulders as I kissed him back with everything I had. His hands held my hips as he moved back and forth, the friction between us rising higher and higher.

  All too soon—though, I didn’t know how it was possible—the friction became too much. My muscles tensed and so did his. Grayson held himself over me, thrusting in and out, shaking my world as the bed rocked back and forth. My heart thudded against my ribcage and for a split moment, I was worried the thing might burst out of my chest. Several months ago if anyone had asked me if I would be doing this, I would have laughed in their face and walked away. But now...as I felt myself reaching for that sparkling peak once more and Grayson lifted up, his eyes meeting my gaze as he did the same and his mouth came down on mine—now I knew I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

  A blinding sensation took over and I gasped, my mouth opening wide as I pulled away from the destructive kiss, crying out as Grayson groaned low. He collapsed down on top of me, our chests mashed together, both of us breathing heavily. My throat worked as I tried to draw in a breath and swallow.

  "That was..." I trailed off, unsure what to say.

  Grayson sat up and grinned down at me. "Amazing, yeah, I know." He leaned down and brushed his lips over mine once, twice, a third time before he rolled away and off the side of the bed. I watched him as he ambled into the bathroom across from the bed and then came back a moment later, cleaned, and holding a slightly damp washcloth. I moved up, reaching out to take it from him, but he shook his head and bent down.

  Heat rose to my cheeks as Grayson moved the cloth between my legs before tossing it away and then falling into bed next to me. He pulled me close, tucking his arms around my naked abdomen, an animalistic rumble of satisfaction in his chest. I chuckled and turned over so that I could watch him. His face was relaxed, cleared of the stress that had come to be his normal expression.

  Moving a fingertip over the top of one of his eyebrows, I spoke in a low, quiet whisper. "So this is what a normal relationship is like."

  He snorted without opening his eyes. "I think our relationship can be defined as anything but normal," he said.

  "What do you mean?" I asked.

  His eyelids cracked open. "You're dating multiple men," he replied plainly.

  "Yeah?" I said. "And?"

  His eyes opened all the way. "That's not exactly traditional."

  I shook my head, tracing my finger down the side of his face before I moved it over to his nose, cresting the top of the feature and slowly trailing down to the tip and over. I finally spoke quietly when I came to his lips. "My mom knows and she doesn't seem put off by it.”

  "Your mom knows that you're dating more than one man? She knows you're sleeping with more than one man?" He sounded shocked. I was
n’t surprised.

  I shrugged. "Technically we're not sleeping," I said.

  He rolled his eyes, squeezing me closer. "Whatever we have, Harlow," he said, "I'm glad I have it with you."

  I tilted my face up to see his and smiled. “Me too,” I admitted.

  He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. It was soft, leaving me feeling cherished and loved as I snuggled impossibly closer. “Promise me something,” I said.

  “Hmmm?” he mumbled tiredly.

  “Promise me you won’t regret this,” I said.

  He was silent for a moment and then on a breath, he answered. “I promise, Babydoll.”

  With that softly spoken statement, he closed his eyes and we both slid further into the sheets. My chest squeezed and I had to fight back a sudden wetness at the back of my eyes. I drew my hand away from his face and leaned over, kissing his cheek. He turned his neck sharply and my lips landed squarely on his. I let my eyes slide closed as he delved into my mouth with his tongue, coaxing mine to follow his, to dance, to play.

  We spent several hours like that, lying naked in bed, playing, kissing, touching. It was like we had found a place just for us. A place for the two of us to be alone. A safe place. A happy place. I loved every second of it. When the sun rose in the morning and I woke several hours after it had already been up in the sky, I knew I had to go back to reality. I stretched across the now empty bed, sighing and a little frustrated that he wasn’t there. But I also knew that whenever we needed it, we could come back and be together again.

  Chapter 4

  The Summerville Cancer Care Center was fairly busy on a Friday morning. Nurses passed by me as I made my way through the hallways towards my mom's room at the very end. I knocked before entering, holding up a small bouquet of pink and yellow carnations with a smile as Mom grinned at me over a food tray.

  "Are those for me?" she asked as I moved to her bedside table and retrieved the old ones I suspected one of the guys had left the last time they came to check on her for me. I dumped the decayed flowers into a nearby trashcan and propped the new ones up just as quickly.